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a little too hard is​…​not so soft

by Amrit Kohli

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1.
love’s ashes went back to town his ghost still lives there i am so sick of him i wish my feelings would have died long ago i didn’t want to move on but if you don’t move on then you might as well not move at all so i, drove by his place nobody home oh, look at me lamenting loss like it was a sacred rite and i stopped producing my love for him gone and gone out i don’t know him anymore gone and gone out he don’t know me anymore tore up our love in a jar of ashes then i let it fly from the outlook that keeps the mississippi blind free, i am free, i am finally free of him not having the words is like going deaf slowly so i thought about it over a tall glass of milk and i realized that there haven’t been any cookies for us no chocolate chips for our budding love and i stopped producing my love for him gone and gone out i don’t know him anymore gone and gone out he don’t know me anymore
2.
i am watching those low clouds roll in like fighter planes comin’ back from a war with thunder on their heels. and the blue sky landscape sets the stage for palestine’s freedom absolution from papal rome. and my heart bleeds as the shots i’m hearin’ take the lives of our brothers and sisters. meanwhile, in america the front page is talkin’ about gulliani’s viagra and in america 1040 retroactive rebates are goin’ in the mail and in america man is about to extend his electric hand over and eye, for an eye, for an eye – and it leaves the world blind and in america god is walking alone and the goddess is staring at herself for hope and in america the xenophobic multinational media is writing hitler back into history and another steel bullet bomb goes off in palestine another steel bullet bomb goes off in palestine
3.
she was only eleven years old when she was sold into slavery at the age of 15, she was gang raped again, and again, and again so, she took up arms and hunted down the mauraderous of her youth can you blame her? can you blame her? can you blame her? can you blame her? ah…yeah, oh woah. yeah, oh, yeah. i, phoolan devi i, phoolan devi they sentenced her to eleven years of jail after gunning down everyone in her tribe she did her time so they set her free and she went on a rampage of democracy. i, phoolan devi i, phoolan devi they came one day in the broad daylight and they gunned down our sister across the sea our sister across the sea oh, yeah, oh, yeah…oh, yeah. armed with a gun or a ballot box it don’t really matter ‘cause they hated her all along they hated her all along they hated her all along they hated her all along they hated her all along they hated her all along i, phoolan devi i, phoolan devi yeah. her pyre burns her pyre burns don’t let it burn in vain don’t let it burn in vain don’t let it burn in vaaaaaa yayyyayyya in i, phoolan devi i, phoolan devi
4.
just got something caught in my mouth so, excuse me won’t you if i indulge you with this truth there you are again asking me without question what games i’m up to now ‘cause you know these games are all you know and now i’m back in high school again ‘n you’re sittin’ there at my study hall euchre table watchin’ me take every hand but leavin’ yours alone ‘cause i know you too well to force you to loose oh, but i could and sometimes i want to just to see if you’d run to catch my hand ‘n tell me that you’d die if i were gone.
5.
we were busy fighting a war with fax machines, guitars, and pens so, who had time for friends? your allies they don’t appear to be mine your friends they don’t appear to be mine we’re hated by the same and then some i know you love who i am ‘cause i love you just the way you are but the world is too small for the angels that we are we’re angles you and i i’m on a mission of love from the gods you’re on a mission of love from the god-dess-es and we’re hated by the same and then some
6.
nonetheless 06:17
if i said the wrong thing to you it’s because i was running a little short on words and now it appears that i am loosing you to this war ‘tween your dad and mine ‘tween your dad and mine i hope you’re alright tonight and you’re making good time on the road, of your life i’m sorry i’m not there with you but i am here, nonetheless i am here, nonetheless and i know that our moms would have so much to share ‘bout how alone our dads left them so this is my lullaby calling you back to my arms maybe i will forgive you for being who you might be but promises are getting hard to keep especially now that the world is poising for a war the world is poising for a war and i’m needed on the front lines of peace baby i am needed on the front lines of peace i hope you’re alright tonight and you’re making good time on the road, of your life i’m sorry i’m not there with you but i am here, nonetheless i am here, nonetheless
7.
silly 00:41
8.
9.
wuff wuff 00:32
10.
white powder 06:21
11.
i thought you knew where you were standin’ when you stood on the porch of my wounded heart seems that you were blind ‘n couldn’t see all that dried blood stickin’ to the bottoms of your feet came home from tour two weeks in my pocket to another empty promise of stickin’ by me through the worst of times “lean on me,” you’d tell me. “i’ll be there for you” you’d say innocently but look at you now push comin’ to shove and you’re like all the rest just another boy took four months of my love just to say it was all a lie after all that you never loved me but you had a good time and you’re sorry for using me to have it “lean on me,” you’d tell me. “i’ll be there for you,” you’d say innocently.
12.
bird takes off i watch it fly through the clouds where i want to be you tie yourself down everytime i set us free call yourself a friend – accusing me cutting into me till i draw my lines you’re beggin’ to be inside i am weaker than the hollow bones of a bird and you’re not strong enough to be the feather in my wing racist neighbor downstairs gives you every reason to hate me your selfish jealousy makes you blind i’m doin’ all i can but you’ll never be satisfied till i give in little christian boy do i remind you of the lies you tell yourself collecting sympathy points for the pity you lay down at my brown feet oh my beautiful brown feet i am weaker than the hollow bones of a bird and you’re not strong enough to be the feather in my wing
13.
this is what we predicted (x4) back in ninety-six (x2) and they dismissed us as too radical too young too naive but look at what we have (x2) it’s a self-appointed bigot in the oval office appointing self-righteous bigots to his cabinet appointing racist judges, racist judges to the highest courts of our land and there ain’t gonna be no justice if we just sit here and take it so i suggest that we (x2/3) join hands and raise ‘em to the highest powers above us resist the desire (x2) to take up arms and lock arm in arm instead march up the steps to the highest courts of our land and take back what’s ours yeah, we’re gonna take back what’s ours anyway, anyway, etc. it’s a self-appointed bigot in the oval office appointing self-righteous bigots to his cabinet appointing racist judges, racist judges to the highest courts of our land this is what we predicted (x4) and now look ‘cause this is what we have... we have (x4)
14.
i was just gunnin’ time like a recklose cannon till you came through to me ‘n now that i’ve outdone time no clock will ever look the same since i called time’s bluff i got holes you got patches ‘n a big piece ‘a me you got basecamp i got tent stakes ‘n a big blanket ‘a you now i’m stuck on this airplane but the glory of runnin’ just ain’t what it was ever since i had you to come back home to i ain’t ever gonna be what i was i have learned that what i am is more than that ever was ‘cause ‘a you ‘cause ‘a you ‘cause ‘a you i got holes you got patches ‘n a big piece ‘a me you got basecamp i got tent stakes ‘n a big blanket ‘a you

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released December 28, 2001

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Amrit Kohli Detroit, Michigan

From the East African genocides of Idi Amin to sexual persecution in the United States, activist-songwriter Amrit Kohli has experienced lifetimes of conflict in the mere decades under his belt. Seeking refuge in a new country as a child then becoming entangled in the battle for personal freedom as an adult would galvanize anyone to use their voice for the betterment of humankind. ... more

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